YouTube
by Kevvy Talks
Summary: Bleach discovers YouTube...
1. Chapter 1

**YouTube**

**Characters/Pairings: Various**

**Rating: T (for language)**

**Summary: Bleach discovers YouTube...**

**A/N: If the comments are in response to a video or something on a video, it will be listed in italices above the comments. If not, then it's just some random exchange I put down. **

**This idea was new to me, so I hope you'll be kind. If you have any creative suggestions, then feel free to put them out there. R&R, please, and thank you for reading.**

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Chapter 1

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**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **How do I get blow jobs on this thing?

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **This isn't PornTube, jackoff.

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **But how do I get the blow jobs, fucktwat?

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST CALL ME?

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **Geez, I knew your hearing was bad, but your head must be buried pretty far up your ass if you can't read this.

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **you know what, BLOW ME, JEAGERJAQUES!

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **Really?

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **I meant it as an insult!

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques:** But you really want a blow job right?

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **NO

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **But how do i know there's not double-meaning or something behind those words?

**Ichigo Kurosaki: ***signs off*


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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**Lillinette Gingerback: **Aizen used to take arrows to the knee, but now he just takes balls to the face.

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **ANYONE WHO TALKS ABOUT ARROWS TO THE KNEE AGAIN WILL GET THEIR FUCKING THROAT TORN OUT.

**Tesla:** I used to get my throat torn out all the time, but now I just take arrows to the knee.

**Nnoitora Jirgua:** TESLA? YOU'VE GOTTA BE FUCKING JOKING ME!

**Neliel Tu Odelshvank:** Kony 2012!

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **Go die in a hole, Nel.

**Kevvy Talks:** I like taking arrows to the knee.

**Nnoitora Jiruga:** GODDAMMIT!  
**  
Coyote Starrk:** You know, you should support this Kony thing. It seems pretty serious.

**Neliel Tu Odelshvank: **I changed my mind. No more Kony.

**Nnoitora Jiruga:** oh thank god...

**Neliel Tu Odelshvank:** I WANNA TAKE ARROWS TO THE KNEE! YAY!

**Nnoitora Jiruga: ***slams head into keyboard*

**Loly: **hey has anyone noticed that the & symbol likes like a guy dragging his ass across the floor?

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **So? The $ symbol looks like a dollar sign but it isn't. seriously, where do you people get this crap.

**Lillinette Gingerback: **Nnoitora, I think some of your brains fell out of that hole in your skull. It IS a dollar symbol.

**Szayel Aporro Grantz:** If you moved the circle down on the % symbol it would be a perfect representation of the male genitalia, except the penis is at a slight angle...Hm. Interesting.

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **Why are you talking about cock?

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **it's true. there's a rumor going around that ichigo tea-bagged aizen.

**Lillinette Gingerback: **That's nasty as hell.

**Ichigo Kurosaki:** THE FUCK? I DID NOT!

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **you did.

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **oh yeah? WHEN, JACK-ASS?

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **you did. don't deny it.

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **I tea-bagged Tesla...multiple times.

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **wtf, Nnoitora! *signs off*

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **you fucking ruined the moment, you asshole. *signs off*

**Lillinette Gingerback: **Oh jesus god. you're so disgusting. Excuse me while I go puke up my lunch. *signs off*

**Coyote Starrk: **Thanks for ruining the mood...I'm going to sleep now. *signs off*

**...**

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **Hey...Where did everybody go? WHAT THE HELL IS SO WRONG ABOUT THROWING SOGGY TEA BAGS AT TESLA?

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**A/N: Poor Nnoitora didn't know what tea-bagging meant.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

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**A/N: Hi, everyone! :) I hope you all are liking YouTube so far. I'm sorry this chap is so short. I promise the next one will be longer. Thanks to Guest, ValentineRevenge and ChieLuvesBleach for reviewing. I'm glad to know that I keep the laughs and giggles coming. Virtual cookies and thanks also go to those who are following this and support the humor. **

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_**In response to a piracy warning on a movie...**_

_**Piracy is not a victimless crime.**_

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **like fuck it is!

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **who's the victim?

**Tesla:** I'm the victim...I'm always the victim.

**Nnoitora and Grimmjow: **STFU Tesla

**Lillinette Gingerback: **Stop being a victim, then, you walking vagina.

**Tesla: **that was uncalled for.

**Lillinette Gingerback:** I'll shove my foot up your ass

**Nnoitora Jiruga:** I will too! get lost!

**Tesla:** *logs out*

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **Who's the victim again?

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **I have no fucking clue.

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **This is bullshit. I'm out of here. *signs out*

**Lillinette Gingerback: **I don't care what you all say, it's totally victimless**.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

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**A/N: Thanks to 1-Chess, ChieLuvesBleach and ImSeriousBro for reviewing. Here's another chappy for your enjoyment.**

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_**In response to a Justin Beiber video**_

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **She doesn't have tits

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **It's a guy

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **that's a vagina

**Lillinette Gingerback:** His name is Justin, you idiot. It's obviously a dude.

**Ikkaku Madarame: **How emasculating is this shit? for a guy to be singing such girly garbage?

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **this poor fucker must be wearing clamps to keep his testicles on

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques:** But they're not really balls. no one that sings like a chick and sings chick songs has balls.

**Renji Abarai: **It has to be a typo. her name is actually Justine.

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **BUT WHERE ARE THE TITS?

**Szayel Aporro Grantz: **She's obviously under-developed. Maybe a hormone disorder?

**Nnoitora Jiruga:** i think i just saw his balls roll off the stage.

**Keigo Asano: **Arrow to the knee!

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **Keigo, if I could kill someone over the internet, it would be you.

**Nnoitora Jiruga:** I know a band that's much better than this crap. It's called Scraping Foetus Off The Wheel.

**Lillinette Gingerback: **That's just disgusting.

**Szayel Aporro Grantz: **You can never judge something merely by its initial appearance or title. My favorite band is Crazy Penis.

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **No surprise there.

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques:** Of course it is.

**Renji Abarai:** My captain likes Gay for Johnny Depp.

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **SERIOUSLY? BYAKUYA'S GAY?

**Byakuya Kuchiki: **As reprimand for this behavior, I shall have you sentenced to hard labor for the remainder of the year. You will see how worthwhile spouting rumors will get you, Renji. And for you're information, my favorite band is The Carpenters. I would never indulge in such a title as...that.

As for my sexual orientation, I thought that would have been made clear by now seeing as how I was married to Hisana for such a time.

**Renji Abarai: ***is forced to log off*


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

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_In response to an AMV tribute for Kaien Shiba_

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **This shit makes me wanna take a dump.

**Chad [Sado] Yasutora: **Looks like you, Ichigo...

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **WHO THE FUCK?

**Riruka Dokugame: **He's even hotter than u, Ichigo!

**Szayel Aporro Grantz: **The things I would do to him...

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **_**in response to Szayel**_

Are you fucking gay?

**Renji Abarai: **_**in response to Szayel**_

That sounded like a homosexual comment.

**Rangiku Matsumoto:** None of you girls can deny he has gorgeous eyes.

**Szayel Aporro Grantz:** I was not implying that. I meant to express a scientific interest in him.

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **You're so fucking gay you're hair's pink. Who needs more prove than that?

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **Yachiru has pink hair.

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **Maybe she's a lesbian then?

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **She's a little girl!

**Nnoitora Jiruga:** Who gives a shit?

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **And how is pink a lesbian color?

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques:** I never said it was.

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **Then why the fuck did you accuse her of being a lesbian just because she's got pink hair?

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques:** I don't know. It seemed like a good thing to say at the time.

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **You're such a moron.

**Grimmjow Jeagerques: **Yeah? Why don't you go suck Kaien's dick as a tribute?

**Jushiro Ukitake:** I do miss him.

**Kenpachi Zaraki: **What the fuck is this Tube shit and how does it work? I wanna see how many hits I've got.

**Karin Kurosaki: **Are you role-playing, Ichigo?

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **That's not me.

**Karin Kurosaki:** I'm not going to judge you if you role-play, ya know.

**Shinji Hirako: **Yeah, there's no harm in doing that, Ichigo. Men like to express themselves in lots of ways, and if this your way of trying to come out of the closet, we won't pass judgment on that.

**Keigo Asano: **ICHIGOOOO! WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO YOUR ROLE-PLAYING PARTY! YOU CAN'T JUST HOLD OUT ON FRIENDS LIKE THIS! YOU SUCK!

**Ochi-sensei:** Interesting, Kurosaki. So this is the reason you've been skipping out on class. It's not very productive of your time, if you ask me. You could do better.

**Renji Abarai: **what is role-playing? is it some stupid human custom?

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **Yeah it's a custom where you suck my dick.

**Uryu Ishida:** You're a disgrace, Kurosaki. Sew in your past-time instead of wasting it acting like you're somebody else.

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **What kind of limp noodle sews?

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **Grimmjow, what is it with you and cock all of a sudden?

**Orihime Inoue: **Wow! You look so cool, Ichigo! I really like to role-play, too! Maybe we could go to a convention together?

**Ichigo Kurosaki:** FOR THE LAST TIME, IT'S NOT ME!

**Rukia Kuchiki: **You could never match Kaien's greatness. You're too much of a moron.

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **What was that?!

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques: **I'm bored. Where's the porn?

**Renji Abarai: ***yawns* I'm with you on that.

**Nnoitora Jiruga:** Hey Kuchiki girl, or whatever ur name is. did you ever tap that? just askin'.

**Rukia Kuchiki: **What's tapping?

**Nnoitora Jiruga:** u know. tappin'.

**Rukia Kuchiki: **No, I really don't.

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **Did you ever bang him?

**Rukia Kuchiki: **I still don't follow. Is that slang for something?

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **Yeah it's slang for did you fuck his ass.

**Rukia Kuchiki: **Wait, what? That's a horrible thing to say. He was married!

**Nnoitora Jiruga:** Oh so you did fuck him.

**Rukia Kuchiki:** I did not, you sick asshole. That's my lieutenant you're talking about. A man I admired.

**Szayel Aporro Grantz:** A recent study strongly suggests that women show an increased interest in men who are married because it's a sign they are emotionally mature or sucessful sexually.

**Nnoitora Jiruga: **See? you fucked him.

**Rukia Kuchiki:** I DID NOT!

**Nnoitora Jiruga:** But you thought of doing it.

**Rangiku Matsumoto: **We won't judge, Rukia. It's easy to see why you'd want him. Any girl would understand your position. If I were in your shoes, I definitely would have done him.

**Rukia Kuchiki: **But I didn't...

**Ichigo Kurosaki: **You seriously banged a married man?

**Renji Abarai:** I always wondered what they did up in those mountains all alone...

**Ikkaku Madarame: **Maybe she was just banging her way up the ladder. I know a dozen guys who would practically give away promotions just to get laid.

**Yumichika Ayasegawa:** He is quite a beautiful person, if I do say so myself. Why you didn't sleep with him is beyond me. The coupling would have produced perfect babies.

**Rukia Kuchiki: **You are all insane! *signs off*


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

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_Everybody taking stabs at what Aizen's chrysalis form is REALLY supposed to be_

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**Ichigo Kurosak**i: It's the ghost from Pacman.

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaque**s: It's a used condom.

**Nnoitora Jiruga**: Fucking seriously, guys. It's a CONDOM. A Trojan condom.

**Gin Ichimaru**: Does the brand of condom really matter?

**Ruka Kuchiki**: It's a marshmallow.

**Nnoitora Jirug**a: No wait I changed my mind. It's a huge blob of jizz.

**Lillinette Gingerbac**k: Who's jizz?

**Nnoitora Jiruga**: Ichigo's.

**Ichigo Kurosaki**: WTF? THAT'S YOUR FUCKNG JIZZ, NOT MINE! WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE MINE?

**Nnoitora Jiruga**: Well, you're the one who's fighting it, not me.

**Keigo Asano**: I KNOW! I KNOW! IT'S A DILDO.

**Coyote Starrk**: Why does it matter whether the condom is used or not?

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques**: An unused condom is a beautiful thing. Aizen isnt

**Szayel Aporro Grantz**: Aizen wears Spanx.

**Ichigo Kurosaki**: HOLY SHIT. SERIOUSLY?

**Szayel Aporro Grantz**: How do you think he hid all the cullulite?

**Lilinette Gingerback**: Whoa...I never would have guessed.

**Yumichika Ayasegawa**: It may not look like it, but I think most all of the senior Soul Reapers are just falling apart beneath their robes. Zaraki has some of the most hideous scars.

**Tetsuzaemon Iba**: Mayuri has hemorrhoids.

**Kon**: With a face like his, I'm not surprised!

**Yachiru Kusajishi**: Byakuya gets manicures!

**Kon: **That doesn't surprise me either.

**Gin Ichimaru**: Sosuke has bad back problems, so he wore a girdle.

**Zommari Leroux**: That's a LIE.

**Gin Ichimaru**: I kid you not. I was witness to some of the most unattractive parts of Aizen.

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques**: So basically the picture you're tryin to paint is that Aizen's ass is dropping like a duffel bag and he's turning into the Hunchback of Notre Dame

**Nnoitora Jiruga**: Yeah that sounds right

**Shunsui Kyoraku**: I saw aizen when he was sentenced. it looks like the council's idea of punishment just got more kinky. there didnt used to be all that bondage.

**Tetsuzaemon Iba**: I heard this wild rumor that it's so you don't try to beat off while you're serving your sentence.

**Ikkaku Madarame**: They want it to be as excruciating as possible

**Ichigo Kurosaki**: wow, that seems...harsh

**Ikkaku Madarame**: Not really.

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques**: So what if he wears spanx? he's still a condom.

**Shinji Hirako**: THAT...IS A MAXI PAD.

**Nnoitora Jiruga**: No, you moron, you're thinking of a tampon.

**Renji Abarai**: Can we please get off this subject?

**Orihime Inoue**: Oh! I know what Aizen's chrysalis form is! It's a chrysalis!

**Kenpachi Zaraki**: No shit.

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques**: You just ruined it. ***signs off***


End file.
